The Expendables was my number one most anticipated movie of the Summer. It promised a lot and didn't let me down. What can I say at this point that hasn't already been said? Look at the cast and if you say to yourself, "this sounds like the greatest movie ever made," then certainly go see it. If you look at that cast and say, "aren't those guys old farts?" then go see it anyway. You might be surprised. Decades of action movie experience are put into this baby and it's done with care, love, and explosions. Now if you look at that cast and say, "this looks like the stupidest movie ever. I would never watch that in a million years," then we just don't see eye to eye, my friend (if I can indeed still call you that).
Story-wise The Expendables is a pretty straightforward movie. A team of elite tough dude mercenaries go to South America to overthrow a cruel puppet dictator whose strings are being pulled by smarmy American Eric Roberts. Blood is shed, things are blown up, quips are made, fights are had, America wins. Certainly a great time at the movie theater. I'm so glad to see Stallone's recent track record looking so strong and seeing Dolph Lundgren on the big screen was a treat. The Expendables gets a billion blown up bad dudes out of a billion. Bring on the sequel.
Machete was a movie I had been waiting for since the phony trailer in Grindhouse. Did it deliver? In many ways yes. It's main flaw was that it was almost too ambitious. Whereas it should have been more like Desperado, it was actually more like Once Upon A Time in Mexico. Now if that is the main complaint, then we are still dealing with a great piece of entertainment. It opened strong right out of the gate but it lacked the stylistic flairs that should have permeated the entire affair. In a way it felt more modern then it should have. And the ending battle felt a little anticlimactic.
But the goods outnumber the bads here, for sure. First of all, Danny Trejo in a starring role gives it points. Robert Deniro having fun hamming it up as a corrupt senator also gives it points. Jeff Fahey as the villain with the most face time, holding the ship on a steady course, definitely gets points. Steven Seagal's last scene most certainly gets points. Combine all that with over the top violence, commentary on border issues, Don Johnson, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, and Danny Trejo bedding every woman he encounters like James Bond and you have a recipe for a good time at the movies. Once again I'll say, "bring on the sequel." Trejo is ready and able to be a leading man, especially in exploitation-style action movies. I can see him taking up the Golan Globus-era Charles Bronson mantle.
Machete gets my arbitrary rating of 870 Danny Trejo face creases out of 963.
Oh I almost forgot. The A Team came out this summer as well.
I'll put it this way. If you like the show, you'll enjoy the movie. Unless of course you love the show and you can't imagine a world without Dirk Benedict. It was an excellent popcorn action movie. The characters were pretty spot on, although I found B.A. Baracus a little forgettable. So you have Darkman, Handsome Bradley Cooper, Sharlto Copley, and a guy with Mr. T's haircut and a lot of explosions and witty banter. It's either the kind of movie you'll like for what it is or you won't. Did you see the trailer? If you saw a tank being parachuted out of a plane and thought it was a great idea, then this movie is right up your alley. And tanks shooting down planes while falling from the sky is definitely up my alley. That's an idea I can get behind.
The A Team was a fun action movie that tided me over while I waited for The Expendables. Once again . . . bring on the sequel. As Long as Darkman is still in it. My arbitrary rating system gives The A Team 17 plans coming together out of 21.
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