I LIKE LISTS: FATHER'S DAY EDITION PART 2 - THE REVENGE!

For Father's Day I had made a list of the worst onscreen dads. I suppose that wasn't quite in the spirit of the day. So here's the flip side: a list of the dads who go above and beyond the call of mandatory child support payments!





HONORABLE MENTION: The Inventor from Edward Scissorhands
I like The Inventor partially because he seems so kind and pleasant, but mostly because he's Vincent Price. The scene where he gives Edward hands for Christmas is the reason he's the Honorable Mention. Giving him scissors instead of hands in the first place is why he isn't even on the list. How do you expect Edward to wipe, you maniac?





#10: Thornton Melon from Back to School
The epitome of the American success story, he has good intentions and only wants the best for his son. He'll use his wealth to give his kid the opportunities and material possessions that he never had. Plus he hangs out with Burt Young, hires Kurt Vonnegut to do his homework, and can do the Triple Lindy.





#9: Mr. Malloy from Freddy Got Fingered
He always spends time with his son and politely tries to shelter him from the antics of his crazy neighbors. He has a moustache and a shiny bald head. He takes his little boy to a very fancy restaurant for his birthday and even lets him get cake! Yay!





#8: Furious Styles from Boyz N The Hood
First, Furious gets points for being there in the first place. He might be the only dad in the neighborhood that we see in the movie. Second, he teaches his son the importance of responsibility and education. He does his best to direct Tre away from the pitfalls of life on the streets but he also knows his son needs to make his own choices. And his name is Furious.





#7: Lincoln Hawk from Over The Top
If Over the Top teaches us anything it's that not even Robert Loggia and his money can stop Lincoln Hawk's love for his son. Maybe dad's been gone for ten years, kid, but your mom just died so you're running out of parental options. So saddle up and let's arm wrestle!





#6: Jack Butler from Mr. Mom
He's a trailblazer in the stay-at-home dad movement. What a crazy scenario at the time: a dad raises the kids while the mom works!?! Spit takes and fallen monocles across America. I honestly haven't seen this in years so my memory is a little foggy, but I seem to recall that he should be wary of Martin Mull who is trying to sleep with his wife.






#5: Mister Geppetto from Pinocchio
In some ways he is a very negligent father. He sends Pinocchio to school alone on his first day of being alive, for instance. But we can look past that and see a loving and caring man. It takes a great father to extend the search for your missing puppet-boy to the high seas. And when he is consumed by a whale, his thoughts are still focused on finding Pinocchio, the son he made with his own two hands.





#4: Damon Macready/Big Daddy from Kick Ass
No father has ever shot his daughter in the chest with as much love as Big Daddy. He teaches his little girl the ins and outs of crime fighting and killing but is still an old softy and can take her out for an ice cream. They spend quality time together shopping for weapons and seeking revenge.





#3: Ed Harley from Pumpkinhead
The entire plot of the movie hinges on Ed Harley's love for his son. There are scenes early on that present us with their relationship and in them we see an inseparable father and son. He can be strict, but never uncaring. He and his son are each other's world. So when some city slickers accidentally kill his boy, he is willing to sacrifice his own soul to conjure the demon of vengeance.





#2: Clark Griswold from the Vacation movies
Forever optimistic that he can realize some sort of romanticized Norman Rockwell American family moment, Clark Griswold endures the hardships of travel and family gatherings with a clenched smile. His goals are always family-oriented and he has a never say die attitude to family fun. No matter how elusive it may be.





#1: John Matrix from Commando
He's the greatest dad ever. He and his daughter live a tranquil life of tickling, fishing, swimming, practicing hand-to-hand combat, feeding the wildlife, and eating ice cream. But when some genius decides to kidnap his little girl, Matrix has to go on a killing rampage. He'll do whatever it takes to get his daughter back safe and sound.