Dolly Dearest is what you get when you try to make a direct to the video store hybrid of Child's Play and The Exorcist. As far as evil doll movies go, I suppose you could do worse than this. But that isn't saying much. It's a genre that isn't burdened by too many looming, insurmountable peaks.
The movie is about an American family moving to Mexico to make dolls in a factory that happens to be located next to an archaeological dig site. The dad in this family either misread the memo about outsourcing his work to cheap Mexican labor or he is planning on living his dream of personally running a hands-on sweatshop. Either way, he dragged the whole fam to Mexico to make cheap dolls that "every little girl in the world is going to want." The evil spirit buried in the tomb next door must have overheard that these would be a hot Christmas item, so it possesses the dolls. Then the dolls can possess the children. Or something. I don't know why the spirit needs to be in a doll to possess the little blond girl instead of just doing it directly. That's just the way the cookie crumbles.
This movie doesn't bother messing around with any mind games about whether the dolls are actually possessed and the kid is just crazy, which seemed like an obvious route for this to take. I'm actually glad it didn't because the only thing this movie had going for it aside from terrible(-ly funny) acting was watching the animatronic doll and the midget in doll clothes do things. Oh yeah and Rip Torn.
Rip Torn plays an archaeologist from the prestigious University. He has some hilarious, amazingly unplaceable accent. Never have I heard such an accent. Judging by his tan and the movie's setting I guess it was supposed to be a Mexican accent but something tells me I'm way off on that. Probably his accent.
So Rip Torn eventually explains that the dig has uncovered the tomb of a devil-baby that the Sanzia tribe buried almost a thousand years ago. He describes an evil beast that had the body of a baby and the head of a goat. That sounds so awesome. Why couldn't the movie have been about that guy?
Generally movies like this try to fall back on humor or at least treat the premise with a little tongue in cheek. Unfortunately for Dolly Dearest the laughs are unintentional and I really do get the feeling that there was true intent for creepiness in some of this movie. It didn't intend to come off as camp. There is sincerity in her voice when the mother yells, "I am not losing my daughter to a God-damned, nine-hundred-year-old goat-head!"
Speaking of dialogue, the thirteen year old son is written so excellently for this type of movie. He's a geeky bookworm so that we can learn all about the history of the Sanzia (even though we already have an archaeologist character and superstitious locals for that) and he gets to say things that all kids in 1991 said. Things like, "The Mayans? They were cool dudes." And that the Sanzia were "really weird dudes." You see, kids call people "dudes." Look it up. It's a fact.
I feel like I'm giving this a bum rap. If you are reading this and think this sounds terrible, then you probably wouldn't have liked it anyway. But if you are reading this and thinking that it sounds like fun, then you are right. Indulge in some early nineties video store horror aisle gluttony and check this out. Double feature it with Stuart Gordon's Dolls to sweeten the deal. Microwave some popcorn or get some Doritos and dust off the VHS player.
I'll give this the arbitrary rating of 36 demon goat-head babies out of 48. And that's saying a lot for Dolly Dearest, because you only need one demon goat-head baby to get a party started.
PS: I present the coveted "Least Amount of Acting Award" to Sam Bottoms for his performance of "man-getting-stabbed-slightly-above-the-knee." Congratulations! May your stiff, emotionless portrayal of "man-getting-stabbed-slightly-above-the-knee" continue to be hilarious for years to come! Hip hip hurrah!
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